eggplantogre | Holly Heights

[Sometime in the near future-- maybe on a Tuesday not unlike this one, Kondo knocks on Nasubi's door and waits a full five beats before opening it. He's been kinda low key worried about this, it's time to address it.]

Son, can I talk to you for a minute? I think we can work something out by saving our asses and also doing something nice for your dad. You don't have to worry about this any longer.

[Nasubi has been working on some horrid artwork as usual when Kondo comes in. He looks over at his not-dad, deciding it was time for a break.]

What do you need help with?

Weeeelll, I need help helping us both! We're reaching all the itchy spots. All I need you to do is go through this--

[yes, that was his HH sales catalog tucked under an arm, which he now dangles before his son; he beams like he's thought of something brilliant] and pick the stuff you want, either for you or your dad. And then I'll go through yours and pick some stuff for Zura. What do you say? Good plan, right?

Edited 2014-12-24 02:35 (UTC)

Itchy spots? [Nasubi reaches for the nearest back-scratcher but when he notices the catalog Kondo had in his hands he reached for that instead.]

Oh this. Do we actually have to do it? I'm no good at these salesperson-kind of job...

Itchy spots those can't reach. [he says, as if that's actually comforting...]

[a nod follows his question, and he tries to keep the grim, worried turn of his mouth in check]

Yeah, this! All you need is practice, no worries! And if you wibble that bottom lip of yours and make your eyes all big people will drop to their wallets to buy stuff, kiddo. I guarantee it.

[Nasubi takes a moment to think of any spots that the back-scratcher might not reach...]

Where wouldn't it reach?

[He really can't think of where. Maybe between a lady's boobs, that might be hard to reach to scratch decently.]

I'll try to remember... [He thinks a girl would do a better job at doing this but he stays quiet about it.] But okay, I'll have some gingerbread men.

[Here's five bucks]

Edited 2014-12-28 02:42 (UTC)

[NASUBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are your fathers son (Kondo's)]

In the really pesky tight and tough to reach places. [he breaks off with a chuckle, a gross one]

Atta boy! Thanks a lot, kiddo, good doing business with you. I'd like to buy a box of doughnuts off of you too.

[ah yes bullshit magic transaction, credit cards that are definitely not fake and replaced with cardboard thanks Zura, get!!]

[Nasubi always liked breasts on women, they always contained hopes and dreams.]

No problem. So what do these profits go to anyways?

[If it's not going anywhere, Nasubi would like to use these profits to buy more art supplies.]

Hopefully where our imaginary tax dollars go to....[a strip club with terminator dancers, maybe] So the schools! Probably. Or construction work. Maybe a sports stadium.

Oh, it's going to be a donation for a good cause then? Maybe I should think about trying this selling stuff thing...

[He probably will end up not doing it, knowing how he rarely talks to other people.]

Exactly! A good cause and good karma points you'll build up in exchange for a new level or a new power. Possibly lasers.

[son]

Lasers? I think I'd want super strength so I can swing a heavy metal club around.

[he's so bad at talking to strangers :'|]

A heavy metal club.....you mean play baseball? You don't need super strength for that, y'know. Just a little training. Super strength is really cool, though. It'd help.

[but practice makes perfect!!]

No no, one of the humongous clubs with spikes on them that ogres have! My boss had one while I was still in Hell and it was always so cool when he would swing it around like it's nothing!

Oooooh, those! Those are pretty useful, mhm. But your boss sounds like a real badass...like a main character.

I wonder... He probably would have been the main bad guy to humans. But I guess so! He's very fun to be with. Got to learn lots of things about Hell from him!

Which would make him lovable to women, probably. Damn>/i>. Learn stuff? Like what?

[a little worried to ask, but mostly curious and also taking an interest in your child's interests is really important]

Yeah, I guess so! He has a deep voice that probably swoons the ladies!

[Hm, how to put it... They had lots of different talks before he ended up here, so it's hard for Nasubi to summarize it.]

Well... lots of things? Mostly about Hell-related things, but we would also talk about trivia stuff like an ogre's underwear.

Yeah? Those types always have the ladies hanging off them like fruit on the vine. Some day you, too, might get that far.

[with The Panty Dropping Voice. papa will teach you, son]

What about an ogre's underwear? Are they as dirty as the legends say?

Edited 2015-01-24 04:46 (UTC)

Well I don't really mind whichever it rolls...

[It's nice seeing large boobies though.]

Dirty? They're not dirty at all. The undie talk was when I asked why folktales show ogres wearing tiger skin as undies when we don't actually do that.

As long as they eventually roll and jiggle your way.

[huge boobies are key]

[tilts his head]

Tiger skin? I guess it'd feel nice on the ass...maybe it's to make them look cool? What do they actually wear...

What ogres actually wear? Well, something like what I wear normally! Japanese traditional clothes.

Fundoshi? Boxer briefs? They really are just like us at the core of things, where it's really important. That's good to know. [for some reason]

Hmm, well those depend on the person I suppose. Fundoshi might be for the manliest of the manliest but that's too over the top for me.

[Totally a boxer brief type for Nasubi.]

It's not for everyone, my son. Don't worry.

[patpat] Sometimes, even the manliest of the manliest chafe. It's good to be comfortable.

How about you? What's your preference?

[Cuz you know, it's only natural to ask the other party while on the topic.]

To be honest, I like to branch out a lot. I'm always looking to the horizon for comfort and sexiness, not to mention ball room. When all else fails, commando will do.

[he's so proud of his worldy knowledge of...underwear] How about you? Tighties? Boxers? The tighties really keep things in there, don't let the other kids tell you otherwise, it'll save your swimmers.

Boxers are pretty comfortable for me.

[But going commando tho.....]

I dunno about going commando though. That's too much freedom and also if accidents happen that's kinda embarrassing.

The ball room is where it's at~

If you have accidents it's a little easier to blame someone else though because it's very freeing and lose. Not that I know this from personal experience but just, somebody once told me--

[the world is gonna roll him]

I think there's a hell for someone who disrupts public peace like that.

WHAT?! REALLY? N-nononono, but it's really not that bad, I mean it could be worse! It's just a little natural compost to the world, it helps Mother Earth!

[SWEATS]

[Aside from his posting asking if Santa and Satan are related, Lily's not too familiar with Nasubi.]

[But most folks like sweets, right? And she's pretty good in the kitchen. So, she whips up a batch of red velvet cupcakes from her mama's old recipe, topping them with white icing and a sprinkling of red crumbs.]

[Nasubi will find a box with a dozen of the festive-looking treats in his mailbox and a simple note that reads, "Merry Christmas, from Lily." Obviously, she's never done this Secret Santa thing before...]

Edited 2014-12-24 06:17 (UTC)

[When Nasubi comes back from wherever the wind might take him: the neighborhood to get real life inspiration for his art, the library, the ol arcade with the neighborhood rapscallions, the store to get more bananas-- the point is he's going to find some goodies on his waiting waiting for him on Christmas.

First there's this classic throwback from the 90s filled to the brim with crayons, way too much paint (how much is too much actually??), and oil crayons. There's even a little plastic pencil case, in blue, filled with charcoal pencils.

There's also a little friend waiting for him.
The note attached reads:
To my son,
So your imagination and creativity can soar higher than the eagle and higher than an airplane, further than a satellite if you want. Also, this little guy is here to be your friend if you should need him, and to remind you of your roots. Your mom and I love you very much and we're proud to have you as our son. We're gonna have lots more fun this year!
Love,
Dad
That's Isao Kondo]

[Hot dang look at all these crayons and other materials! Nasubi's super grateful of the gifts, down to the stuffed animal.]

[ HELLO!! there's a neatly wrapped package in your room when you wake up. ]

[ It contains a set of oil paints, a creature from hell (Furby) and a festive greeting card. It says, Happy holidays! Hope your new friend will help you feel more at home. Always keep creating! I'm very proud of you. Love, Mom ]

[Nasubi has never seen a furby before but this stuffed animal sure sends shivers down Nasubi's spine. It's inspiring, in a way.

Furby gets a spot right next to the monkey doll Kondo gave him for Christmas.]

[ Nasubi will find a roughly bag-sized white Shiba Inu plush sitting at the feet of his bed in the morning. It's wearing a red ribbon around the neck and a small card which only reads, Love, Mom. ]

Holly Heights > IC Mailbox

action how am i the first one in this precious childs box

action mostly because nasubi hasn't been socializing

action dont worry son we'll change that

action oh boy

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[Secret Santa Gift]

action again.........sometime on Christmas

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action/package, christmas morning

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action, backdated to V-day